Wishing Well

A very wise person once said, "Be careful what you wish for".

Well despite that one admonition that keeps ringing in my ears perennially, there are only so many predictions about the things that can go haywire with any particular wish, which I can anticipate before.

But seriously, which girl in her right mind wouldn't wish to look like Angelina Jolie?

To be specific, which girl who, within living memory, has always been a tad too heavy set? To be more specific, which girl who, within living memory, has always been a tad too heavy set and has heard more jabs and jokes about her appearance than the anorexic model, who was found to be a microgram heavier at her last check up? To put in succinctly er… prolixly, which girl who, within living memory, has always been a tad too heavy set and has heard more jabs and jokes about her appearance than the anorexic model, who was found to be a microgram heavier at her last check up; and who recently developed a humungous infatuation on a very much marry-able guy?

It started as a tiny itch in the back of my throat. After traveling thirty mind-numbing hours in the prime of the summer’s heat from my college in Warangal to my home sweet home in Trivandrum, it would be surprising if I had not caught any bugs en route. And of course, considering my maniacal ice-cream eating spree right before stepping on the train and abstaining from them for three months (there are quite a few things according to my mother the great, that are supposed to make me fat, and ice-creams are honoured A-listed candidates in that list) I was bound to get a sore throat sooner or later.

So as usual, I didn’t pay any heed to the irritating throat.

Will I didn’t until it felt like my mouth was on fire.

Everything started stinging and burning. Considering the typical spicy Andhra food I am used to, I thought mom had merely increased the spice content. At first it was only the pickles and the chutneys. Then it was any salty food in general.

And then… just food.

And before I knew it… everything!

Anything and everything that went into my mouth got me into screams and tears of agony. Right from my usually harmless pea-sized amount of toothpaste to water (screw you chlorine!), it felt like someone had hooked up a vat of sulphuric acid to my mouth and it was slowly trickling down my digestive tracts.

At home and not able to eat.

Biggest tragedy ever.

So now I’m sitting here, sipping from a bottle of mineral water with lips the size of hot dogs, I figure I am as close as I’ll ever be to looking like Angelina Jolie.

So ladies and gentlemen, I entreat you, wish well and wish me well.