Let's be frank here. I'm not exactly skinny. No wait, that would be an understatement. Well... I'm more on the heavier side than I am on the lighter side.
Oh all right.
Without mincing words, I'm fat.
Not only am I rolly-polly miss molly, I lack muscles. And as is the case with most muscle-and-stamina-lacking-and-on-the heavy-side people, lifting myself up is a nightmare that I don't dare to nightmare.
So imagine my chagrin when one beautiful evening I find myself locked out on the road staring at a heavy lock on my gate with keys only to the main door.
To begin with, I had a horrendously tiring day. I had rushed out of my home with a heavy bag cracking my shoulder blades, filled with books, pens, papers, my lunch, water bottle.... what not. I had to walk a mile to catch a bus, whose driver, I swear, was habitual to driving on the German Auto. I had to hang on for dear life hooking the handhold with my right little finger as the relentless crowd in the bus conspired to break every bone in my body. I somehow reach my two-wheeler driving school with every tooth intact. There I wait for an hour and just when the summer sun had risen up to its finest glory, I get my turn to turn the damn sunny in dizzying patters of an '8'. Half an hour and a bucket load of sweat later, I get off to rush to my Veena class in a bus, which (if it is even possible) was worse than my previous one.
As the sun beat down mercilessly, I stand in front of the veena teacher's gate for 15 minutes banging the gate for she'd locked it from the inside. (What is with gates and me that day?) When I finally get the presence of mind to call her from my mobile and ask her to let me in, I swear the water content in my body decreased to around 10%. An hour later, I again get onto a bus (yes, horror subjected for the third time), this time with added heat and dust of noon and bleeding fingers (my fingers have softened up... the strings cut my fingers) I tumble out as a heap in front of the java class.
As the teacher's voice drove monotonously on, my eyes drooped and my yawns were getting harder by the second to control, leave alone hide. Somehow I managed through the garbled screens of code and made it down to the road. My bag seems heavier than ever. As if it's not enough, I add a library book to the weight. I then chance upon a friend and learns that his college is celebrating it's college day. As though I wasn't tired enough, I agree to go to his college, and say hi to the rest of our buddies that I've not seen in ages. Another bus ride follows, and it was worse for all the heat and my heavier bag.
I spend some time there and leave, only to be faced with a long, long walk to the nearest bus stop. When I finally made it back, it was pitch dark.
Now back to my gate. Let me just recap my state at that point of time. I was hungry, dusty, sweaty, tired, drained of intelligence, on the verge of insanity, pondering if I was hallucinating and wishing feverishly that I was, indeed hallucinating.
And rapidly realizing that I wasn't after all, hallucinating.
I looked around me. Visibility was down to zero and the neighbours were either not home or ones to whose houses I would never go to if I were in a desperate situation. As desperate situation it sure was. I wanted badly to just sit down, but only the road was available and I didn't fancy a stone going up my ass in the dark.
I sigh.
Firstly I throw my bag over the wall in an impulsive fit of anger and insanity. Now I truly was done for. My mobile, my keys... everything was in the bag. I was ready to tear my hair and eat it. I try hard to heave my self up above the wall.
And fail miserably.
This goes on for around 15 minutes.
My poor stick-like hands couldn't lift up the mountain-like body of mine. My only chance was the gate. It had some footholds. I slowly heave myself up. I can't see a thing and it was still sweltering. I'm pouring rivulets of sweat due to the heat and fear. The gate starts groaning ominously. My hands screamed protest at all the (un)due exercise. I somehow make it to the top and I sit on top of the gate. To my horror I realize I'm stuck. I do not know where to place my legs next. Admittedly I could've jumped but I was just too scared. After another 15 minutes of praying, I somehow clamber down. Somehow I grope for my bag and keys and collapse onto my bed.
My hands ached for days afterward due to all the weight lifting.
Well, all's well that ends well, I suppose, but of course, that is an experience I do not intend to repeat.
Me joining a gym?
Think again.
I got myself the gate keys.
Oh all right.
Without mincing words, I'm fat.
Not only am I rolly-polly miss molly, I lack muscles. And as is the case with most muscle-and-stamina-lacking-and-on-the heavy-side people, lifting myself up is a nightmare that I don't dare to nightmare.
So imagine my chagrin when one beautiful evening I find myself locked out on the road staring at a heavy lock on my gate with keys only to the main door.
To begin with, I had a horrendously tiring day. I had rushed out of my home with a heavy bag cracking my shoulder blades, filled with books, pens, papers, my lunch, water bottle.... what not. I had to walk a mile to catch a bus, whose driver, I swear, was habitual to driving on the German Auto. I had to hang on for dear life hooking the handhold with my right little finger as the relentless crowd in the bus conspired to break every bone in my body. I somehow reach my two-wheeler driving school with every tooth intact. There I wait for an hour and just when the summer sun had risen up to its finest glory, I get my turn to turn the damn sunny in dizzying patters of an '8'. Half an hour and a bucket load of sweat later, I get off to rush to my Veena class in a bus, which (if it is even possible) was worse than my previous one.
As the sun beat down mercilessly, I stand in front of the veena teacher's gate for 15 minutes banging the gate for she'd locked it from the inside. (What is with gates and me that day?) When I finally get the presence of mind to call her from my mobile and ask her to let me in, I swear the water content in my body decreased to around 10%. An hour later, I again get onto a bus (yes, horror subjected for the third time), this time with added heat and dust of noon and bleeding fingers (my fingers have softened up... the strings cut my fingers) I tumble out as a heap in front of the java class.
As the teacher's voice drove monotonously on, my eyes drooped and my yawns were getting harder by the second to control, leave alone hide. Somehow I managed through the garbled screens of code and made it down to the road. My bag seems heavier than ever. As if it's not enough, I add a library book to the weight. I then chance upon a friend and learns that his college is celebrating it's college day. As though I wasn't tired enough, I agree to go to his college, and say hi to the rest of our buddies that I've not seen in ages. Another bus ride follows, and it was worse for all the heat and my heavier bag.
I spend some time there and leave, only to be faced with a long, long walk to the nearest bus stop. When I finally made it back, it was pitch dark.
Now back to my gate. Let me just recap my state at that point of time. I was hungry, dusty, sweaty, tired, drained of intelligence, on the verge of insanity, pondering if I was hallucinating and wishing feverishly that I was, indeed hallucinating.
And rapidly realizing that I wasn't after all, hallucinating.
I looked around me. Visibility was down to zero and the neighbours were either not home or ones to whose houses I would never go to if I were in a desperate situation. As desperate situation it sure was. I wanted badly to just sit down, but only the road was available and I didn't fancy a stone going up my ass in the dark.
I sigh.
Firstly I throw my bag over the wall in an impulsive fit of anger and insanity. Now I truly was done for. My mobile, my keys... everything was in the bag. I was ready to tear my hair and eat it. I try hard to heave my self up above the wall.
And fail miserably.
This goes on for around 15 minutes.
My poor stick-like hands couldn't lift up the mountain-like body of mine. My only chance was the gate. It had some footholds. I slowly heave myself up. I can't see a thing and it was still sweltering. I'm pouring rivulets of sweat due to the heat and fear. The gate starts groaning ominously. My hands screamed protest at all the (un)due exercise. I somehow make it to the top and I sit on top of the gate. To my horror I realize I'm stuck. I do not know where to place my legs next. Admittedly I could've jumped but I was just too scared. After another 15 minutes of praying, I somehow clamber down. Somehow I grope for my bag and keys and collapse onto my bed.
My hands ached for days afterward due to all the weight lifting.
Well, all's well that ends well, I suppose, but of course, that is an experience I do not intend to repeat.
Me joining a gym?
Think again.
I got myself the gate keys.
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